When I think of all of the time with my babies, I think of how much I loved it and also how incredibly stressed I was. I worked full time and only had the normal three months of maternity leave.

The stress wasn’t just from working though. It was from how hard it was. Everything.

And where was the help? I get it. I chose to have kids. It is no one else’s responsibility but mine. However, you see those families that you know a little bit, that talk about having their families near them and they are so involved. It makes you wonder where is your support system.

Sadly, some people just do not have the same support resources as others. They are not supported, not emotionally, mentally or physically. Some people are isolated or estranged from their families and far from friends.

Others may have friends and family but they do not have the same involvement. They leave you to it and only come around when it works for them.

I am not saying any of these situations are right or wrong. A lot of annoyances can come with a family being super involved but for me that is the one thing that I wish I had more. Support. Also from my husband, the invisible load of motherhood is very squarely placed on my shoulders. I know it well. I know many women feel that weight.

A support system before hand and while your kids are young and the parenting is the most demanding would be my biggest piece of advice. When you are thinking of starting a family, often we only think about ourselves and our partner making that decision. Really though, it is a hard and can be a lonely road. Especially if you are learning to heal from trauma of your childhood and break generational cycles so that you can let these beautiful souls be well adjusted and full of light. Whewee it is a lonely road without support.

While I am fulfilled by being their mama, I am still a woman and person outside of that and I would love for her to be fulfilled as well. With support, you have extra hands that can help so that you can go be yourself where you can think clearly.

Now does any of this mean you should not start a family if you do not have support? Of course not. It can be done and it can be amazing! What I really wish I would have had throughout my motherhood journey is support or at the very least someone to tell me how actually difficult it is without it.

So let’s be honest about it and how hard it is. How beautiful and stressful it can be. How you never stop worrying from the moment they are born, and you imagine every possible scenario for every situation. Let’s truly tell our friends that ask what it’s like, what it is ACTUALLY like. Not just the beautified version but the real and raw version.

Did you have support with your babies/kids?