Cleaning with kids is a never ending job. Without kids I could always find more cleaning to do; I might organize my entry way, sort through old clothes or deep clean all the floors. With kids I barely get the food stuck on the floor off within a few days time. Why is it that we strive to be so clean and perfect? Part of it, I feel is society expecting women to do it all even though many of us also work full time jobs outside the home. This is not at all forgetting the women who work full time being a stay at home mom. Another part is the marketing to us by..well..everyone, to have this aesthetic so we can be the person we always dreamed. If we have this furniture or these mixing bowls, then we will truly be the mama/wife/woman we want to be. And then there are some of us that just honestly are extremely sensitive to the mess but are equally overwhelmed by it and struggle with what to do and when. This is also prefaced with mom guilt about not spending the time cleaning, with the kids and woman guilt for not being the one who can do it all.

Who knew that this simple task could be so damn complex? Ultimately…women know. We also can have more balance and less stress about cleaning. But it isn’t easy. It requires us to develop new thought patterns about what is ok and allowing ourselves to be real about the expectations we feel are on us and the ones we put on ourselves. Here are some tips to doing just that. Some are obviously easier than others but hopefully it will spark the change in you and your home to give yourself some balance. Also it is COMPLETELY ok to spend an entire day sitting around and not accomplishing anything on your to do list. We NEED rest. We need SO MUCH rest. If you need me, I’ll be napping.

Have someone help you

I know it is almost a sin to mention this. Really. But when it comes down to it, we can’t do it all. And the women saying that they are-they are lying. They definitely have a maid. It is maddening, unhealthy and unfair to expect that you should take care of everything. So get out a list, make a chore chart or draw straws so everyone can start carrying their weight. Or hire a maid, nanny or both!!

Recently, I heard about Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and it is the path I would recommend to all families who are trying to divide the invisible tasks and visible ones, equally. I’ve only just begun to read on this and it will take time but it is another option for adding some help.

Lean into the mess

Am I saying to lower your expectations? Yes. Ok, ok no, not really. But sort of. I am saying that we need to give ourselves a little grace. We need to know that the mess is going to be there likely, forever. We can’t miss the time that can be spent with our kiddos when they are home. I am not saying never clean either but do give up the feeling that you need to have a perfect house or even mostly clean home all the time. It is not realistic. We live in our homes and our children are making memories. I prefer mine not to remember me constantly cleaning and not doing the fun things they want. Honestly this one is super hard for me because of the clutter. There is definitely anxiety around THAT.

Declutter so things can seem clean

The devil is in the details. The details in the mess is clutter. My number one trick wait, I have two. Number one, is that I declutter all the time. It is a constant purging process. (Honestly this is an issue in itself .) Things are constantly coming into the house that we don’t need. If my decluttering process was me climbing Mt. Everest, I am almost to the peak but still have the descent to deal with. I have processes -ish to keep the papers at bay. I declutter the toys when no one is looking. Clothes are a bit harder, We keep some for younger siblings and nieces and nephews so we always have bins. But I guess that is a process too! We donate everything that we can, recycle after that and the very last thing we do is toss it. Number two, is that I have a place I can hide almost everything. I have a spot for things that I just don’t know how to deal with yet or things that are normally part of our working lives to be put away. Then when people visit or I just need a break from it all, I don’t have to see it. I love to organize but I am a perfectionist with it. I have to scale way back on what I want. And it is probably isn’t healthy for me. Or you, if you have it too.

Random tips

I just recently learned something that was helpful for me with all the socks I have for tiny feet in my family. I got some big laundry bags for things like bras and I fill them up with socks. This has really helped me feel less cluttered when I actually do laundry because the socks aren’t all over. Super inexpensive and they are actually pretty good quality.

Kids art supplies can be exhausting. I don’t deal with markers, crayons or anything else in its original packaging. We take them out and put them into some office organization boxes. We blow through them really fast but kids can reach them easily and put them away quickly.

An old tip from my mom and probably her mom to her, when you have a lot to clean or a bunch of clutter- do something big first. Such as, make your bed. It instantly makes you feel like you have accomplished something and more importantly it looks less cluttered which can give you the push you need to keep going!

Please tell me if have tips to help this craziness!!