Sleep is so wonderful. It is so important. It helps every function of the body. It is when you heal. Why then, do toddlers and kids NOT WANT to do it?

It makes no sense.

I fight with my kids every night at bedtime. They can fall asleep once they wind down. The winding down is the hard part. #parentingishard

We have started earlier, we have created a routine, we have used oils and massage, we have taught belly breathing, we have bribed, exercised, use room darkening shades and we have punished. We have all the loveys, blankeys and anything else that can fit on the bed. We have lullabies on and a Hatch nightlight.

Yet the struggle persists. We start earlier so that there is time to talk, time to allow them to think of all the things that happened during the day and tell us about them. I read that this is a really important time of day because that IS when all these things pop in their minds to tell you.

The next step is to read a book to them. We read and they want to read more and more and more. We have to cut it off somewhere.

We get them all snuggled in and we deep breath for 6 breaths. IF at this point they will even do it. Most of the time they are crying and we are frustrated. They have changed positions 307 times and now they want a glass of water. Also the blanket that is on top of them is too scratchy and they need a new one. Even though when we started, a fit was thrown to get this blanket instead of their sister getting it. Now the sister doesn’t want it either.

But on a perfect night when the planets align, Mercury is not in retrograde (real thing, look it up) and the moon is not embarking on becoming a full spotlight orb in the sky that secretly pulls on all of us like the water in the ocean (also real, look it up), they do take their 6 breaths.

Now just two songs to sing, 456 kisses to give and a million I love you’s to say and hopefully they go to sleep. Ha! I crack myself up!

Rarely does it work out like that. Often I have to lay with the older two and then rock the 2 year old to sleep and also then nurse a baby and put him to bed. Where is my husband during this you ask? He has been barely keeping them appeased until I can get to them. They are all on a mommy kick right now and they don’t want daddy. He does everything he can and everything that they will let him. Sometimes the 2 year old and the baby will go to sleep for him but lately that is not the case.

My question to you, is this your life?

Do you hate to think about your kids “crying it out”? I am pretty sure that is how I got into this situation and I wouldn’t change it. I can’t handle the idea of them having to scream and me not come back when they need me until they fall asleep. No judgement if you can do it. I am sure you are sleeping better than me right now.

Mostly I would like it to be a little quicker to get them all to sleep. So I am re-evaluating our routine.

Here is what we are doing and we will see if it helps!

Dark Room

The room is already darkened with blackout shades. I was thinking that if I really wanted to, I could use command strips to attach it all around the window for a tight fit that blocks the light. I have read this a ton of times. If you want your baby/kid/self to sleep well, make it dark.

Exercise

Make sure they have gotten enough exercise. Preferably outdoors. Fresh air and movement always seems to help them sleep. I am shooting for 20 minutes where they are really active outside. If that means I also need to exercise outdoors, so be it. (Sigh)

Update: I now know that morning sunlight is really important for g

Stop Stimulation

No television or phones for 2 hours before bed. Kicker is that this has to be for parents too. Kids are constantly modeling our behavior. The watch us and soak in everything we do. If we want them to do it, we must too. We can read or color during this time before we really get ready to sleep.

Bath/Jammies/Oil

If it is bath night, take baths and get pajamas on. Then try essential oils. I personally like organic oils and my great friend just told me about these that I will be trying. Edens Garden in Lavender. Lavender is known to calm and alleviate stress. I usually put oil on the feet of little ones because I also get the bonus of rubbing all the pressure points on them. Sometimes I feel like they can’t smell it well though and I definitely want them to smell it. I will place a drop on their wrists also.

Nightlight/Music

10 minute timer where I lay with them and talk about whatever they would like. We also like to pray about anything that may be bothering us when we go to bed. Belly breathing and affirmations are also on the list. 6 deep breaths are known to calm the brain and body.

Finally hugs, kisses and I love you’s. I can sing a song and leave the room.

This is the plan that I am enacting tonight. I really hope it helps and I hope if you try, it could help too. I know that we can’t expect miracles and it will take time to get it right but Lord help us we need something. We need sleep actually. That is what we need.

Please share your bedtime tips if there is something that works for you!