There are so many things that I am working on lately. By lately I mean the couple of years.

A lot of the beliefs holding us back are unconscious programs running in our subconscious. There are so many great thought leaders that tell us this and can prove it with science. It may have started when you were a child and something your parent(s) said like we can’t afford that when you wanted something. That starts a belief that you can’t have things you want. It leads into a belief about money not coming easily to you. And so on and so on. You get my drift.

In order to get past the beliefs we need to change the subconscious thinking. To do that you have to be conscious of it. You have to disrupt or break the pattern. Believe me it is HARD to always be managing your thoughts. That is why we have a subconscious anyway- to manage the things we don’t need to think about. But once you get the hang of knowing when you start following a subconscious program you can stop it simply by thinking a positive thought instead. Sometimes that is hard and it feels weird. I mean you were running a program that was negative! Of course positivity will be hard! But things that are uncomfortable make room for better things. You need space to hold that positivity.

The easiest way to start becoming more positive in your thoughts is to become grateful. You become grateful by practicing gratitude. I have heard so many thought leaders and therapists speak about this also for relationships. It truly works for everything.

To start here are some easy tips.

Keep a gratitude journal

Buy a fancy notebook or journal or don’t. Use a sticky pad. Whatever you need or like to keep it up. You can start with 3 things each day but I personally like 5. Writing down 5 things you are grateful for at the beginning of your day is a wonderful start to changing your programs. It can be coffee. It could be the weather. It could be that someone you know beat an illness. Big or small things, it doesn’t matter. I also like to write down goals in my gratitude journal. 10 goals and I write them as if I have achieved them. “I am a successful entrepreneur.”

Notice the positive things

When your brain starts making you notice the things that you dislike- the dishes not being done-or whatever ticks you off. Try to notice the good. Take a look around and see what is done. What your partner helped you with. What the kids were able to do without you. And just think to yourself. I am thankful for that. Like I said it takes practice because it feels weird when you are used to a negative loop. I know, believe me. We have to keep working at it.

Practice the pause

This is seriously one of the hardest things for me to do but when I do it, I feel so much better. It usually results in a better outcome of ..ANYTHING I am doing. This goes along with everything above. It is a moment to get conscious about what is happening in your environment and more importantly in your programming. It is a great tool when you feel like the stress of the situation is just too much. You just have to break the cycle and actually do it. I am working on it SO HARD. Today my almost 3 year old who is in the midst of potty training and is the strongest willed person on earth, and I were having a power struggle to end all power struggles. And I found myself doing everything that my programming is set up for. Shaming to get compliance, threatening to get compliance, a swat on the tush and I mean, it was an endless loop. She was crying before we even got here and somehow I thought that would make it better. At my breaking point I put her down on her bed and went to walk away and her cries of despair at the whole situation and now Mama is leaving her were too much. I started sobbing. It wasn’t until that pause and my cries that she calmed down. I had tried a bath, fresh air and distraction and nothing until that moment. I WISH I could take most of the evening back. But I can’t and I need to use it as a learning tool to practice the pause.

There are just a few tips. This honestly could go on forever. There are so many amazing teachers and each with their own skill sets you can learn from.

What are your ways to live a life more full of gratitude?