Anyone who has nursed a baby for a long period probably knows that weaning from nursing can be difficult. I didn’t know that though. After 5 kids you think I would have. I didn’t. I will tell you why.

My oldest I had when I was 17 and honestly I can’t remember the details of his baby life. He is 21 now. However I do know that I was young and didn’t realize that I could lose my milk so that is what happened with him. My other 4 are much younger and closer in age. With each of them, I got pregnant with their next sibling. When that happens, your prolactin (the hormone that helps you make milk) drops and often decreases your milk supply. I think you could probably take steps to keep it up but it never worked out for me. When the milk drop happened for me, my babies would get frustrated and after about a week they would just give up. Preferring the bottle over breast at every turn after that.

Now the only reason I know weaning is hard is due to my youngest baby. I am pregnant with his brother and he was not okay with giving up nursing. He did not get frustrated and quit. In fact it seemed like he got frustrated and tried harder! Let me tell you it wasn’t an experience without pain for mama. So I actually have some tips on how to wean a baby that doesn’t want to quit. I thought what a great thing to share- especially for moms that may have a similar experience to mine.

The first tip is to know that starting to wean is going to come with undesirable outcomes. What I mean by this is, your baby is going to be upset, pissed off, if you will. He will cry and scream. This is going to happen. You are making a change that is huge in their tiny life. So understand it will not be easy or quick.

I don’t believe that any amount of preparation will help with number one. But number two is try to prepare your baby. Tell them that pretty soon the milk will be going away and you will just snuggle to rest or calm down. They understand so much more than we give them credit. They can process a lot even though it may not seem like it.

Number three is to drop nursing sessions gradually. If you are nursing all day, drop a daytime session. You could play something during that time or have your partner take them and you hide away so he can’t see you. This is especially helpful if you nurse before nap or sleep. You can drop a session prior to the nap or sleep session and then still nurse at that time. It makes it almost like they aren’t losing something.

All the while keep telling them that pretty soon the milk will be going bye bye. I am not a fan of planning a date that you decide to stop. You never know what might happen to throw that off. For instance during my weaning time, we got covid. So I kept nursing as much as I could to give him any antibodies I had. I keep it fluid and just keep attempting.

Obviously when dropping a session at a time, it could take a while. This is not always a short process. It also depends on your child and how attached they are to nursing.

As you keep dropping sessions, it should begin to get easier. Where I really ran into the biggest issue was dropping the sleep time session. I was nursing at night still so I dropped the sessions in the night. It was a full 30 minute struggle for a week. He would scream and cry and throw himself on the floor, or backwards on my arms almost making me almost drop him. It was ROUGH. We have three other kids sleeping near our room so that was always a concern too.

I would just attempt to give him his nuk or blanket over and over again. I would tell him I was sorry and I know how hard it is to not have milk. I would offer water and try to bounce or rock. Sometimes I just let him roll all over the floor and scream. I did not give in and let him nurse. Eventually he would calm down and grab his nuk and blanket and snuggle with me to go back to sleep. It was so hard though. You are tired. He is tired. You just want to stop the nonsense and nurse but you will have to start all over if you do that.

Tip number four is to drop the sessions before sleep like nap time or bedtime. I went with nap first. By this point, he hardly fought me on it. He snuggled with me and his nuk while we rocked and would occasionally ask for it. He is almost two so he points and says more. I would just tell him that mommy didn’t have any more milk for him and he would reluctantly put his back down on my shoulder.

When it came to the bedtime session I decided to try a bottle of milk. He had never taken a bottle at home before because I was always there to nurse and I don’t necessarily recommend to add in a different option if you don’t want to. For us, it worked because he started drinking regular milk and it still signaled that it was time for rest like nursing did. He has gone to sleep a few times without a bottle and I just keep it fluid. If he seems overly tired I will make one. If he is doing fine we will just do our normal routine and go without.

Eventually, I will need to wean off the pacifier. The milk could be in a cup but the pacifier is going to be harder. I will follow these steps when I am ready to do that but for now I am just happy that he is successfully not nursing anymore.

Did you know that it would be hard to wean? What tips do you have for weaning?